Hooman Translator: what your human really means

Golden retriever puppy grinning by a pond in a blue stripes bow tie collar and leash

A human to dog translator, written for dogs. Pick what your human did, or type in English and get it back in doggo speak.

Hello, dog. What did your human do?

Pick the weird thing. We explain it in dog, with one real science fact so you can win arguments at the park.

Kisses Leaving for work Shoes on The vacuum Baby talk Who's a good boy? Hugs Phone staring Bath time Sneezing Yawning Pointing Crying Saying my name Who did this?! Their smell

DoggoLingo translator: English to doggo speak

Type like a hooman. Get it back in heckin good doggo. Words with their own page in the dictionary turn into links.

Example

Henlo frend! I lub u heckin much. Is it time for a walkies? Pls give me a snacc. Borf.

Every human behaviour, decoded for dogs

The full list, in case your human does all of them before breakfast.

Why does my human kiss me?

Your human pushes their face into your face and makes a smacking noise. This is not an attack. In hooman, it means "you are the best thing in this house". You may lick back. You may also leave. Both are fine.

The real science: When dogs and their owners gaze at each other for a long time, oxytocin, the bonding hormone, goes up in both of them. [1] The kiss is your human's version of that look.

Good-dog tip: Not every dog likes faces up close. If you turn away, a good hooman switches to chin scratches.

Why does my human leave every morning?

Every morning your human goes to a place called Work. Work is where hoomans collect the money that becomes kibble, toys and that squeaky hedgehog. They always come back. Guard the sofa until then.

The real science: Dogs bond with their humans in a way that, in the lab, looks a lot like a child's attachment to a parent. [2] Missing them is normal.

Good-dog tip: If being alone gets really hard (howling, chewing the door), your human should talk to a vet or trainer about separation anxiety.

Why does my human put on the outside paws?

Shoes are outside paws. When your human puts them on, one of two things is about to happen: walkies (yes!) or leaving (no!). Watch closely for the leash. The leash is the tell.

The real science: Dogs learn the telltale signs that their human is leaving, like putting on shoes or a coat and picking up keys. [3]

Why does my human walk the loud monster?

The vacuum is not a pet. It eats your floof and screams the whole time. Your human walks it around the house because it can't go out alone. It is doing you a frighten because it is loud. Very loud. For you, extra loud.

The real science: Adult humans hear up to about 20,000 Hz. Dogs hear roughly 47,000 to 65,000 Hz, so a vacuum may sound very different to you. [4]

Good-dog tip: Hoomans: start it in another room and pair it with treats.

Why does my human talk in a squeaky voice?

"Who's a widdle snoot? WHO'S A WIDDLE SNOOT?" That is baby talk. Your human's voice goes up three floors when they see you. It means you are very important and possibly made of marshmallow.

The real science: Puppies react strongly to high-pitched dog-directed speech; in the same study, adult dogs didn't react to it any differently than to normal talk. [5]

Why does my human keep asking who's a good boy?

Your human asks "who's a good boy?" a lot. The answer is you. It is always you. It's a trick question with only one answer. Wag accordingly.

The real science: In brain scans, dogs' reward areas responded when praise words were said in a praising voice; the words or the tone alone weren't enough. [6] Your human means it.

Why does my human squeeze me?

A hug is when your human wraps their front legs around you and holds on. Hoomans do this when they love something. Dogs do not do this. Ever. It's very confusing for everybody.

The real science: Psychologist Stanley Coren looked at 250 photos of people hugging dogs; 81% of the dogs showed at least one sign of stress. [7]

Good-dog tip: Hoomans: a lean, a sit together or a chest scratch says the same thing in dog.

Why does my human stare at the glowing rectangle?

Your human holds a small glowing rectangle and stares at it for hours. It doesn't smell like anything. It doesn't throw. Sometimes it has pictures of you in it, which is the only good part.

The real science: Dogs can read human faces in pictures too: in one study, dogs learned to tell happy human faces from angry ones in photos. [8]

Why does my human put me in the giant water bowl?

The bath is a giant water bowl that you are not allowed to drink from. Your human puts you in it to remove your favourite smell. Afterwards you are legally allowed to do the zoomies.

The real science: Dogs often get the zoomies after something stressful like a bath. [9] A rubber mat in the tub and a slow start help nervous bathers. [10]

What does it mean when my human sneezes?

Your human just made a giant AH-CHOO. In dog, a sneeze during play means "this is fun, I'm not serious". In hooman, it usually means a tickle. Bless them anyway.

The real science: Among dogs, sneezing is a way of communicating playfulness. [11]

Why do I yawn when my human yawns?

Your human opened their mouth very wide for no reason, and now you did too. Yawns are contagious, even between species. You're basically twins.

The real science: In one study, 21 of 29 dogs yawned after watching a person yawn. [12] Dogs are four times as likely to catch the yawn of a person they know. [13]

Why does my human point at things?

Your human sticks out one finger at the floor. Look where it points, not at the finger. That's where the treat is. You are, frankly, a genius at this.

The real science: Dogs follow human pointing to find hidden food better than chimpanzees, and even puppies a few weeks old can do it. [14]

Why is my human leaking from the eyes?

Sometimes your human sits very still and leaks from the eyes. This is called crying. It means they're sad. The correct response is to go and lean on them. You already knew that.

The real science: Dogs approached a person who was crying more often than one who was talking or humming. [15]

Why does my human keep saying that one word?

Your human says one word to you a lot, usually right before something good. That's your name. Turn around when you hear it. Snacks follow.

The real science: Dogs learn their name the way they learn anything: say it, reward the look with a treat or a marker word, repeat. [16]

Why does my human ask who did this?

Your human is holding a shredded cushion and asking who did this. Rhetorical question. Do the eyes. The big ones. Ears back. Works every time.

The real science: The famous guilty look shows up more when owners scold, whether or not the dog actually did anything wrong. [17] It's about the scolding, not a confession.

Why does my human smell so good?

Your human smells like home, the sofa, yesterday's sandwich and themselves. It's the best smell in the world. You can find it in their socks.

The real science: In brain scans, the scent of a familiar human lit up dogs' reward-linked caudate the most of all the scents tested, other dogs included. [18]

DoggoLingo glossary: what does hooman mean?

The words the translator uses. Each linked word has its own page in the DoggoLingo dictionary.

hooman
Hooman is DoggoLingo for human: the tall, treat-holding creature who lives with you. [19] “My hooman is the best hooman. Do not tell other hoomans.”
heckin
Heckin is the DoggoLingo intensifier, used in place of very or extremely. [19] “This is a heckin good stick.”
doing me a frighten
DoggoLingo builds verbs with doin me a: doing me a frighten means you're scaring me. [19] “The vacuum is doing me a frighten.”
snek
A snek is a snake, also known as a danger noodle or nope rope. [19] “Is that a snek? No. Is hose. Still suspicious.”
birb
A birb is a bird; a round one is a borb. [19] “Birb on the fence. Must bork.”
good boi
Good boi is good boy, DoggoLingo style. Good girls get it too. “Who's a good boi? Me. I am the good boi.”
bamboozle
To trick. As in the fake throw. As in the empty hand.
blep
When the tip of the tongue pokes out and just… stays there.
boop
A gentle tap on the nose. The universal greeting.
bork
A bark. Borf is the small, muffled version.
derp
A goofy, blank, not-all-there face. Lovingly.
doggo
A dog. Specifically, a very good one.
floof
A very fluffy dog. Or the fluff itself.
henlo
Hello, said by a dog who just learned it.
mlem
The quick lick of the nose or lips. Usually after something tasty.
pupper
A puppy, or a small young dog. Maximum cute.
smol
Small, but cuter. Tiny and precious.
snoot
The nose. The boopable part.
sploot
Lying flat on the belly with both back legs stretched out behind.
teefs
Teeth. Especially the little ones on display.
toe beans
The soft pads on a dog's paws. Squishable. Smell like snacks.
zoomies
A sudden burst of wild, happy running, often in circles.

Want to know what your human thinks of you? Take the dog personality quiz together.

What dogs think about humans (a guide for the dog)

Most humans who land here want to know what their dog thinks of them. So we flipped it: this page explains humans to dogs. Kisses, baby talk, the vacuum, the morning disappearing act, all decoded in dog, each with a real fact about how dogs see and understand people. Read it aloud. They'll love the voice.

Looking for what a real bark means? That's the other way round: try our dog bark translator.

FAQ for dogs: everything you wanted to ask about your human

Why does my human leave every morning?

To go to Work, where hoomans get the money for kibble. They come back. Missing them is normal: a dog's bond with their human looks a lot like a child's attachment to a parent. [2]

Does my human know I love them?

Yes. When you two gaze at each other, oxytocin, the bonding hormone, goes up in both of you. [1] They feel it. You feel it. It's mutual.

Why does my human kiss me?

It's how hoomans say "I love you". You probably read the happy voice more than the kiss itself: dogs' brains respond to praise words said in a praising tone. [6]

Do I understand my human?

Better than they think. You can tell their happy face from their angry face, even in a photo. [8] And you follow their pointing better than a chimpanzee. [14]

Does my human think I'm a human?

No, but they think you're family, and you agree. The smell of your own human lights up the reward part of your brain more than any other scent tested, even other dogs. [18]

How do I see my human?

In blues and yellows, mostly: dogs aren't black-and-white, they can make out yellow and blue and mixes of the two. [20] You make up for the rest with your snoot.

What do I think about all day?

Smells, mostly. You have as many as 300 million scent receptors; your human has about 5 million. [13] Also snacks. Also where your human went.

Do I know my name?

Yes, once your human teaches it: say the name, reward the look, repeat. [16] That's why you turn around for it, and also for "cheese".

Is it normal that I miss my human when they're gone?

Totally. Many dogs even learn the signs that mean their human is leaving, like shoes, a coat or keys. [3] If being alone is really hard, your human can ask a vet or trainer for help.

Why does my human talk to me like a baby?

Hoomans can't help it. Puppies react strongly to that squeaky voice; grown-up dogs, it turns out, don't react to it any differently than to normal talk. [5]

Why does the vacuum sound so scary?

Because your ears are better. Adult humans hear up to about 20,000 Hz; you hear roughly 47,000 to 65,000 Hz. [4]

Why does my human squeeze me so tight?

That's a hug, the hooman way of saying they love you. Lots of dogs find it a bit much: in 250 photos of dog hugs, 81% of the dogs showed a sign of stress. [7]

Why does my human leak from the eyes sometimes?

They're crying, which means they're sad. Dogs go to a crying person more than to someone who's just talking or humming. [15] Leaning is the correct response.

Why do I catch my human's yawns?

Yawns are contagious across species: 21 of 29 dogs in one study yawned after watching a person yawn. [12]

Why does my human point at things?

To show you where stuff is, usually the ball. Dogs are better at following pointing than chimpanzees. [14]

Does my human know I feel guilty?

That guilty look shows up more when you're being scolded, whether or not you did it. [17] So it's more "please stop" than "I confess". Scientists still haven't settled whether dogs feel guilt at all. [21]

Why does my human put me in the bath?

To remove your favourite smell, sadly. A rubber mat and a slow start make it less slippery and scary. [10] And afterwards, the zoomies are allowed. [9]

Why do I get the zoomies after the bath?

Zoomies, or FRAPs, often come after something stressful like a bath, as if you're shaking it off. [9] Read the full story on our zoomies page.

Why does my human sneeze at me?

Theirs is usually just a tickle. Yours, during play, means "this is fun": sneezing is a way dogs communicate playfulness. [11]

Does my human know what I mean when I tilt my head?

Not exactly, and neither do scientists. One study found dogs that knew lots of toy names tilted their heads far more when they heard a toy's name. [22]

Why do my paws smell like corn chips?

Normal paw bacteria such as Pseudomonas and Proteus. [23] Your human calls them toe beans and secretly loves the smell.

What does hooman mean?

Hooman is the DoggoLingo word for human: your human. [19]

Can my human understand my barks?

They're trying. Dogs often bark to greet people and other dogs. [24] Your human can practise with our dog bark translator.

What if my human gets lost?

Wear a collar with their phone number engraved on it. If your human ever gets lost, whoever finds you can call them back. The ASPCA says a personalized ID tag is likely the fastest way home, because anyone who finds you can read it, and recommends pairing it with a microchip in case the collar comes off. [25]

How we got this

Not veterinary advice. Last reviewed:

Every explanation is written by our team, for fun, in a dog's voice. The science line under each one is not: it says only what the linked source says, and we read every source before quoting it. Most come from the American Kennel Club, the ASPCA and peer-reviewed studies. The DoggoLingo translator swaps words using a fixed list on your device; nothing you type is sent anywhere or saved.

Dogs can't read. Please read it to them in a nice voice.

Sources

  1. Nagasawa M, Mitsui S, En S, et al. (2015). Oxytocin-gaze positive loop and the coevolution of human-dog bonds. Science. Supports: Long mutual gazing between dogs and their owners raised oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in both.
  2. Topál J, Miklósi Á, Csányi V, Dóka A (1998). Attachment behavior in dogs (Canis familiaris): a new application of Ainsworth's Strange Situation Test. Journal of Comparative Psychology. Supports: Dogs' behaviour toward their owners in the Strange Situation Test resembled the attachment of a child to a parent.
  3. Separation anxiety. ASPCA. Supports: Dogs can learn the telltale cues that their guardian is leaving, such as putting on shoes or a coat and picking up keys.
  4. Why is my dog sensitive to noise?. American Kennel Club. Supports: Adult humans hear up to about 20,000 Hz; dogs hear roughly 47,000 to 65,000 Hz.
  5. Ben-Aderet T, Gallego-Abenza M, Reby D, Mathevon N (2017). Dog-directed speech: why do we use it and do dogs pay attention to it?. Proceedings of the Royal Society B. Supports: Puppies reacted strongly to high-pitched dog-directed speech; adult dogs did not react to it differently than to normal speech.
  6. Andics A, Gábor A, Gácsi M, Faragó T, Szabó D, Miklósi Á (2016). Neural mechanisms for lexical processing in dogs. Science. Supports: In brain scans, dogs' reward regions responded when praise words were said in a praising tone; the words or the tone alone were not enough.
  7. Should you give your dog hugs?. American Kennel Club. Supports: In 250 photos of people hugging dogs reviewed by Stanley Coren, 81% of the dogs showed at least one sign of stress.
  8. Müller CA, Schmitt K, Barber ALA, Huber L (2015). Dogs can discriminate emotional expressions of human faces. Current Biology. Supports: Dogs learned to tell happy from angry human faces in photos.
  9. Why does my puppy go wild at night? (Zoomies). American Kennel Club. Supports: Zoomies are Frenetic Random Activity Periods (FRAPs): short bursts of intense activity, often after a stressful event like a bath or at night; keep the path clear of obstacles and breakables, a fenced yard or carpet is safer, and frapping usually drops as energy drops with age.
  10. Is your dog scared of the bath?. American Kennel Club. Supports: A rubber mat in the tub and a slow, gradual introduction help a dog that is scared of the bath.
  11. Why do dogs sneeze?. American Kennel Club. Supports: Sneezing is a way of communicating playfulness.
  12. Joly-Mascheroni RM, Senju A, Shepherd AJ (2008). Dogs catch human yawns. Biology Letters. Supports: 21 of 29 dogs yawned after watching a person yawn.
  13. Dog facts. American Kennel Club. Supports: Every dog's nose print is unique; dogs have as many as 300 million scent receptors to a human's about 5 million; a dog is four times as likely to catch a yawn from a person it knows.
  14. Hare B, Brown M, Williamson C, Tomasello M (2002). The domestication of social cognition in dogs. Science. Supports: Dogs follow human pointing to find hidden food, better than chimpanzees, and even puppies a few weeks old can do it.
  15. Custance D, Mayer J (2012). Empathic-like responding by domestic dogs (Canis familiaris) to distress in humans. Animal Cognition. Supports: Dogs approached a person who was crying more often than one who was talking or humming.
  16. How to teach your dog their name. American Kennel Club. Supports: Dogs learn their name through positive reinforcement: say it, reward the look with a treat or a marker word.
  17. Horowitz A (2009). Disambiguating the guilty look: salient prompts to a familiar dog behaviour. Behavioural Processes. Supports: Dogs looked guilty more when their owners scolded them, whether or not they had actually disobeyed.
  18. Berns GS, Brooks AM, Spivak M (2015). Scent of the familiar: an fMRI study of canine brain responses to familiar and unfamiliar human and dog odors. Behavioural Processes. Supports: The scent of a familiar human activated the reward-linked caudate in dogs' brains the most of the scents tested.
  19. DoggoLingo. Wikipedia. Supports: DoggoLingo emerged in the 2010s and peaked around 2017; it adds -o, -er and -ino endings (doggo, pupper, pupperino), uses onomatopoeia like mlem and blep, heckin as an intensifier, doin me a ... verbs, eye-dialect spellings, and calls a human a hooman, a snake a snek and a bird a birb.
  20. Can dogs see color?. American Kennel Club. Supports: Dogs are not black-and-white: they can make out yellow and blue, and combinations of those colors.
  21. Do dogs feel guilt?. American Kennel Club. Supports: In Alexandra Horowitz's 2009 study, the guilty look showed up more when owners scolded, whether or not the dog had misbehaved.
  22. Sommese A, Miklósi Á, Pogány Á, Temesi A, Dror S, Fugazza C (2022). An exploratory analysis of head-tilting in dogs. Animal Cognition. Supports: Dogs that had learned the names of many toys tilted their heads far more often when hearing a toy's name than typical dogs.
  23. Why do my dog's feet smell like Fritos?. American Kennel Club. Supports: The corn-chip smell of paws comes from normal bacteria such as Pseudomonas and Proteus.
  24. Why do dogs bark at each other?. American Kennel Club. Supports: Dogs often bark when greeting a person or another dog.
  25. Position statement on pet identification. ASPCA. Supports: Personalized ID tags are likely to be the fastest way to return a pet home, as anyone who finds the animal can read them; collars can come off, so the ASPCA supports a microchip paired with a collar and personalized ID tag.

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